Crying

It is much easier to start crying than it is to finish.

Reading ‘The Yard Gnome’

I wrote a very comical series called The Yard Gnome. I should not have divided it into parts because it made it too hard to read.

If you would like to read it, you have to go to my blog and start on the blog from May 24th, My Neighbor the Yard Gnome, which is the first section of the series. Then you would read the blog from May 26th, Yard Gnome II.  If your not laughing by that time, you can read the blog from May 27th, Yard Gnome III. I hope you can still laugh after all this confusion.

Sorry about that.  D.I.D. I do that? Nancy

Did you Find your Blogarithim Today?

I’ve decided that after two years of clogging blogging, I have enough experience to write a blog about how to bluff  blog.

Misspellings aside, I have noticed there is a certain rhythm to a good clog blog. If you have a blogger in the family, you may have noticed they make strange rhythmic sounds or moans during a prolonged process of writing. These are blogarithms. Friends and relatives of a blogger need to encourage quiet, so these sounds can be heard clearly throughout the house or office. No attempt should be made to stifle, muffle or mute a blogarithm.

Blogarithms are as necessary to the blogger as biorhythms are to the body. If the blogger has trouble writing his/her blog and find themselves with a bad case of no-writus (neuritis of the brain), it is possible at that time to create a bio-mathematical blogarithm.

Stand near or by the blogger and try to resuscitate his blogarithms. If he/she has already written a few words (up to three lines of a blog) begin to speak these words to him/her in a rhythmic cadence. Try to get a good rhythm going and hopefully this will restore the bloggers blogarithm and he will be able to continue. This is especially important for people who are paid to blog, (all twelve of them) but also necessary for us amateurs.

Sometimes bloggers make an unsuccessful attempt to write a blog. Words become glue, then turn into wordglue, thus giving birth to the word clog. See www.wordglue.com. (This link is ficticious). Bloggers also need plenty of fresh air. Stuffy air (smog) is not helpful to bloggers, who need fresh air to get fresh ideas. Their minds are often in a FOG, and when they are in this state of mind they are cloggers, not to be mistaken for those who dance a clog.

In my case, I am a multi-linguistic blogger – A multiple who studies weird words, and then blogs them in no particular order.

My Brain is Snowed In

I was going to blog about the psychodynamics of complex multiple personality disorder today, but when I woke up my brain went into a pathological brain freeze. When I try to think, this fluffy white stuff starts flying around in my head, giving me cerebral frostbite. I would very much like to share wonderful truths with my followers, but the truth is I have only frozen memories of such things. Things such as words, sentences, clear thoughts, memories, ideas and other assorted subjects evade me. In other words, my brain is snowed in. Sorry about that! Perhaps tomorrow there will be a thaw.

From my heart

My husband’s cancer is gone and he is fighting his way through six months of strong chemo-therapy. It is so hard on him. His body is hurting and he is nauseated most of the time, but he’s very strong and I have no doubt he will pull through. He’s a fighter.

As much as it hurts to see him in this condition, I am excited because I’ve decided to go out into the world and speak about child abuse. Having been sexually abused as a child gives me a unique ability to discuss abuse. I am happy to say I have a date to speak to a church women’s group in November. The topic will be “Recognizing the Signs of Child Abuse.”

I was very happy being a writer and I think I could write all the time and still love it. However, every time I read the submission guidelines for a proposal to an agent about MULTIPLE, the agents want a list of my speaking engagements.

“What speaking engagements?” I ask. I spent weeks trying to figure out how writing a memoire would enable me to speak in public. Who would want me to come talk for an hour about me?

So I did what I usually do in confusing situations, I prayed. Sure enough, over the last few months the Lord showed me what I can speak about – child abuse. As I thought about it, I realized there is a market for this information in our society right now. Mothers are scared their children will somehow be abused and they won’t know about it. So I am going to help them by telling them the signs of child abuse. They will find out how to recognize child abuse and how to talk to their kids about it.

I feel so good. I actually have something to say! It was just a matter of looking at it from a different point of view. Thank you Jesus!

I would like to continue blogging, sometimes being silly and sometimes being serious. I’d like to keep writing and I’m hoping you will keep reading. And if you’re a believer, please pray for me. I also want to thank Jane Friedman for her guidance about blogging.

Bad Words

Thank you followers for giving me some time off to deal with my husband’s surgery. He was diagnosed with cancer and we have gone through a very stressful time during the last two months. He is doing well, and his surgeon got all the cancer, but he is now taking chemotherapy every two weeks for six months.

I am writing a stream-of-consciousness blog with bad words about what we have been going through since December of last year.

Pain, doctor’s appointments, Cat Scan, sickness, trouble breathing, fatigue, missing work, anxiety, prescriptions, antibiotics, x-rays, diseased tissue, fear, colonoscopy, surgery, tests, cancer, incision, blood, hospital, medicine, blood work, doctor, stress test, ultrasound, discomfort, diet, chemotherapy, nausea, infusion, intravenous, IV drip, cancer center.

There, I’ve got it all out of my system for awhile.

The Vat of Words

It takes a really long time to write a book.

When you start, you think you’ll just write down a few things about the subject, put them in an outline and write a chapter a week until you get it all down. But then, about a third of the way through the project you start to realize it’s going to be a lot harder to write this thing than you thought. At first your ideas were so simple and orderly, but suddenly there are conflicting ideas and many more possibilities than you first thought.

It’s like jumping into a big vat of words. You swim around in the words for awhile, but you don’t know how to get out. There’s only one thing to do: realize it’s going to take a really long time to write your book, and settle in for the long haul. You have to learn to swim in the big vat of words. You’re a writer.

For years your friends have been asking you if you finished your book, and the answer has always been no, because it takes a really long time to write a book.

Finally you begin to get to the end of your planned book. Just a few more chapters to go. However, when you start to tie up the loose ends, there are so many that it’s hard to sort them out. My question is this: how can a few more chapters take so long to write? Is it possible that the end of the book is harder to write than the beginning? Is it even possible to know when it’s done?

Well, I finally finished my first draft of my memoir. I feel like I have done something very special because I finished my book. I am finally coming up for air, climbing out of the big vat of words. Wow there’s life out there! There are people walking around doing things. Yes! I feel like I have accomplished a good thing. I’ve written a book. Whether or not anyone reads it is another story entirely. Or would that be another book?

 

A Taxing Interview

Last week I gathered our tax records and drove to see my accountant, Wade. Wade and I have been friends for years and we always catch up during tax season. I sat down in his office, which is nicely outfitted in arts and crafts movement furniture. I placed my records neatly on the customer side of Wade’s desk, and waited.

“How are you doing Nancy?” he asked as he came in briskly and took his place on the other side of the desk. We exchanged pleasantries and then he slid the records over towards him and began checking them out. He likes to make sure he understands what’s what.

“Is there anything new I should know about?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m deducting business expenses for my writing. I’m writing a book.”

“All right,” he said as he began reading the list of expenses I had made. “What’s the name of your book?” People always want to know the name of the book I’m writing. Sometimes I’m almost too shy to tell them, but since I’ve known Wade for so long and he has never transgressed on our friendship I told him.

“It’s called Multiple: Surviving Child Abuse, a Journey through Insanity.” I know this title is mind boggleing, so I waited to see his reaction. He stopped trying to read the report and was thinking. I could almost see the wheels turning in Wade’s head and I thought he was probably wondering what to say, so I continued.

“I have Multiple Personality Disorder. I was sexually abused as a child and I have more than thirteen personalities!” For some reason this always takes people by surprise. After a very long pause, a pregnant pause, Wade looked up from the paper.

“You’re not a serial killer are you?” A simple question, but why do people assume that if you have multiple personalities one of them is a serial killer?  Fortunately, Wade smiled as soon as he said it and we both laughed.

“No, none of my personalities are killers.” With this pertinent information in hand, Wade stopped perusing the tax records and began questioning me at length about my illness and my book. We spent ten or fifteen minutes talking about being a multiple and writing a book.

My point in telling you all this is, that the public really needs educated about Dissociative Identity Disorder, aka Multiple Personality Disorder. That is the reason I wrote my memoir. I want people to know about what happened to me and how I discovered my “alters,” so that possibly another child might be saved from the same fate.

I want people to find out how crazy I was for the first fifty years of my life, although I was never a serial killer, and how shocking it was to discover my other personalities, which I found when I was in a mental hospital. I also want people to know that there is help out there and that “mental cases” can live fairly normal lives if treated. I’d like to get the word out there so that other people with multiple personalities can get help.

The statistics are rather revealing. Safe Horizon.org published a statistic on their website stating that there are 3.6 million reports of child abuse in the United States every year and that six million children are involved. Please be vigilant and call the Child Abuse Hotline if you think a child is being abused. The number is 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

The Lighter Side of Being a Multiple

It’s Monday and that means getting serious about my work. I am presently writing a memoir about the discovery of my other personalities. It’s called “Multiple: A Journey through Insanity.” It’s the story of my sexual abuse as a child and how it injured my mind. The book is very serious and it gets me down when I spend all my time writing about my abuse and it’s consequences.

That’s why I’m writing this blog – for comic relief. It helps to laugh at myself and my circumstances, especially ones that I can not or don’t want to change.

I’m writing about the lighter side of being a multiple. Actually in my case there would be more than thirteen sides: the dark side, the lighter side, the serious side, the brighter side, the comic side, the icky side, the romantic side, the sexy side, the gross side, the pretty side, the ugly side, the up side, the down side, and last but not least, the calm side. Just kidding. There is no calm side!

Do you have some of these sides to your personality?

Other Multiples

If you know someone with multiple personalities, please tell them about my blog. I would like to connect with them