Throwing Away Women’s Lib

Thinking about our coming holiday, Mothers Day, reminds me of how much women lost because of the Women’s Lib movement. In order to understand my unpopular opinion, we have to look back in history to the role women played before Women’s Lib became popular.

During the fifties and early sixties, most women didn’t work. They stayed at home and were housekeepers and mothers, living useful, comfortable lives. They kept the home looking nice, cared for the children and prepared nutritious meals. And they had time leftover for pleasurable activities. How many women have that today? Are the Housewives of Hollywood the only ones?

Now, women have to be housekeepers, mothers and have jobs. They had idyllic lifestyles and threw them away, insisting women be given jobs that were traditionally filled by men.

The men said, “Okay, then work!” I think at the time women were aiming to get good paying office jobs, and they wanted paid the same amount as men, something that has never really materialized on a national level. I know there are exceptions to this lower pay scale, but for the most part I think men still earn more.

The worst thing about it is that we didn’t only lose our easy lifestyles, where we could spend a little time in recreation during the day, but we lost a lot of respect from our husbands. Women began to feel “equal” to their husbands and insisted they be considered for all kinds of labor intensive jobs, such as factory workers, highway workers and soldiers. I don’t know how these women do it, unless they are in excellent physical condition.

I’m sure there are many of you who believe Women’s Lib was really a great liberation for trapped woman. I welcome your opinions in my comments section. Are you happy with the changes that Women’s Lib made in our country? Or do you agree with me that we lost more than we gained?

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The Passover Lamb

This is a picture of a stained glass ornament that was made by my sister, Greta Hanesworth. It is hanging in front of the window in my office where I do my writing. Jesus face looks like he has tears in his eyes, which was an accident that occurred when it was fired in the kiln. The glass was soldered together first and then the face was painted on. The final step was firing it in the kiln.

The Face of Jesus

This particular “Face of Jesus” was never used in the full window, which took almost a year to make and was installed in a church in southeastern Ohio. The face sat around alone in the art studio for about a year and then I  asked Greta if I could have it. She never said anything until my birthday last year, when she gave me the face with the pretty round frame. It is beautiful and the face of Jesus is very special to me and inspires me often.

I wish everyone a Blessed Easter and I hope this picture adds joy and inspiration to your day.

New Federal Commission Will Fight Child Abuse

This is a copy of a February news report from Teresa Huizar, the Executive Director of the National Children’s Alliance.
Just a few days ago, the 12 member, federally-appointed Commission to Eliminate Child Abuse and Neglect Fatalities (CECANF) held its first meeting in Washington, DC.  The commission is charged with making recommendations, to be presented to the President and to Congress, regarding how to reduce fatalities from child abuse and neglect for federal, state, and local agencies, and private sector and nonprofit organizations, including recommendations to implement a comprehensive national strategy; and to develop guidelines identifying what information should be tracked to improve interventions to prevent fatalities from child abuse and neglect.  It’s a first step, but an important one, and it couldn’t have happened with the support of all of you in the field, in our communities, and right here in Washington, DC.  With your help, we will find a way to end child abuse deaths in America.
As always, thank you for all that you do.
Warm regards,
Teresa
The National Children’s Alliance works with local Children’s Advocacy Centers to help with finding, identifying and stopping cases of child abuse and neglectHungry boy.

The First Day of Spring…or Bip?

Is anyone else glad the spring is coming in two days? I am.

My sister and her husband live next door and they have a beautiful male cat. Surprisingly, the cat was named for a sound he makes …. “bip.” Yes, this pretty gray and white cat makes a sound like he swallowed a clock. He makes this sound when he is happy, and if you listen very closely you can hear him bipping. Kind of like purring, but not.

All during the summer months, Bip loves to be outside. His favorite thing to do is walk around the pond and make his way to the edge of the woods. He will sit with his face to the woods for very long periods of time, watching for small critters to come into the yard. I’m sorry to say that he likes to play around with these little creatures until he kills them. It’s not very nice, and I have tried to tell him, but he just doesn’t listen.

During the winter months I missed seeing Bip on his rounds. Day after day, it was freezing cold and snowy, and Bip doesn’t like to get cold feet, excuse me, cold paws. He hasn’t walked around the edge of the woods for months, and who could blame him.

However, today I saw him sitting with his nose toward the woods. That is a good sign that spring is actually coming. Plus, he only missed the First Day of Spring by two days. It is Thursday March 20th. So I am nominating Bip as the new harbinger of spring. Move over Punxsutawney Phil, even though you are a very famous groundhog, you only tell us if there are going to be six more weeks of winter.

Make room for a timely cat to signal The First Day of Spring.

Wait until next year if you must. When spring comes to southeast Ohio, if you can find our house, you will see a gray and white cat sitting with his nose to the woods in our backyard. Plus, if you’re really quiet, you can hear him bip.

HAPPY SPRING!

PS. Please forgive me for not blogging for so long. I was waiting for my fingers to thaw.

Today is Multiple Personality Day

March 5th is National Multiple Personality Day. Here’s a suggestion for having a good day:

Tell someone you trust about your diagnosis. The first time I told a dear friend, I was really worried she would freak out and never speak to me again, but I was wrong. She listened intently, wanting to know all about it. Of course I also had to tell her about the child abuse that caused me to invent my alters, but I didn’t dwell on the dirty details.

Once I had told her, it cleared the way for me to enjoy a wonderful close relationship with her. Since then I’ve told another friend and another and now I’ve written a book about my abuse and my alters.

I encourage all of my internet multiple friends not to be afraid to tell someone. The worst thing they can do is say:

“You’re crazy,” which you already know.

The best thing they can say is:

“I’m sorry to hear it. How did you find out?” Believe me they will be very curious to learn about it, and most close friends will be supportive.

What happened to you when you told the first person about being a multiple?

Are Multiples Confused, Conflicted or Both?

I have Dissociative Identity Disorder and I have multiple personalities. I was violently sexually abused at the age of four, which is the main cause of my disorder. I became confused about who I was, and I have a theory about how child abuse causes a person to become a multiple.

The original definition of the word confuse means to make embarrassed, or abash. It also means to make ashamed, which is how it became connected to child abuse and then to Multiple Personality Disorder, one of the major effects of child abuse, especially sexual abuse.

During the abuse, I couldn’t stand to be present, so I pretended I was someone else. I allowed confusion to help me pretend I was also somewhere else, doing something besides being abused. All this confusion helped me avoid the feelings of shame and anguish and forget that it happened. I developed five childhood personalities or alters.

I was creative enough to form alternate personalities, but not mindful enough to push them aside when I was not being abused. I developed a proclivity for inventing alters, which carried into my teens and adulthood. During high school, my friends would wave their hands in front of my face, trying to get my attention when I was dissociating, and wanting me to tune into reality as they saw it. I became conflicted. My alters wanted to come out, but people didn’t recognize them.

If all this is true, I am now conflicted and confused. My personalities don’t always agree about things and they argue with one another and get angry at each other. In a way I am fighting a battle inside me. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder or Multiple Personality Disorder.

Most of you who are multiples are probably aware of these theories and I encourage you to speak out on March 5th, which is MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DAY. Recognize it. Acknowledge it and celebrate it. It’s good to have so many survivors of child abuse.

Did you Find your Blogarithim Today?

I’ve decided that after two years of clogging blogging, I have enough experience to write a blog about how to bluff  blog.

Misspellings aside, I have noticed there is a certain rhythm to a good clog blog. If you have a blogger in the family, you may have noticed they make strange rhythmic sounds or moans during a prolonged process of writing. These are blogarithms. Friends and relatives of a blogger need to encourage quiet, so these sounds can be heard clearly throughout the house or office. No attempt should be made to stifle, muffle or mute a blogarithm.

Blogarithms are as necessary to the blogger as biorhythms are to the body. If the blogger has trouble writing his/her blog and find themselves with a bad case of no-writus (neuritis of the brain), it is possible at that time to create a bio-mathematical blogarithm.

Stand near or by the blogger and try to resuscitate his blogarithms. If he/she has already written a few words (up to three lines of a blog) begin to speak these words to him/her in a rhythmic cadence. Try to get a good rhythm going and hopefully this will restore the bloggers blogarithm and he will be able to continue. This is especially important for people who are paid to blog, (all twelve of them) but also necessary for us amateurs.

Sometimes bloggers make an unsuccessful attempt to write a blog. Words become glue, then turn into wordglue, thus giving birth to the word clog. See www.wordglue.com. (This link is ficticious). Bloggers also need plenty of fresh air. Stuffy air (smog) is not helpful to bloggers, who need fresh air to get fresh ideas. Their minds are often in a FOG, and when they are in this state of mind they are cloggers, not to be mistaken for those who dance a clog.

In my case, I am a multi-linguistic blogger – A multiple who studies weird words, and then blogs them in no particular order.

My Brain is Snowed In

I was going to blog about the psychodynamics of complex multiple personality disorder today, but when I woke up my brain went into a pathological brain freeze. When I try to think, this fluffy white stuff starts flying around in my head, giving me cerebral frostbite. I would very much like to share wonderful truths with my followers, but the truth is I have only frozen memories of such things. Things such as words, sentences, clear thoughts, memories, ideas and other assorted subjects evade me. In other words, my brain is snowed in. Sorry about that! Perhaps tomorrow there will be a thaw.

Global Warming causes Local Freezing?

Former Vice President, Alvin More, has announced that the latest weather trend, Local Freezing, does not preclude Global Warming. Now shown on all TV weather maps, one can readily see that the United States is a target of Local Freezing, or National Freezing, however the weather forecasters describe the current temperatures over the northeastern United States. Unfortunately, for most Americans, the weather map shows that the rest of the world is much warmer and, in some cases, rather balmy.

Has the Word “Cold” become Obsolete? Meteorologists, commonly called Weather Men, are confused and upset, unable to understand the connection all this cold has to do with that warming ‘balderdash.’

Mr. More refuses to back down on his stand for Global Warming, still insisting that it isn’t cold, just slightly cool, and it is not necessary to wear an overcoat, hat, ear-muffs or gloves to ward off this ‘anti-warming’ trend, which will soon pass.

Appearing in only his well-groomed brown suit, the former Vice President gave a speech on the front steps of his home in Nashville, insisting for the umpteenth time that global warming is a real phenomena, much like extra-terrestrials, ghost-busters and Big Foot. More claims the word “cold” has become obsolete. Unfortunately, his speech was cut-off prematurely, when his teeth began chattering and he ran into the house to get warm.

More was recently challenged by representatives from The Weather Channel, who accused Alvin of being cold and unfeeling, uncool and hot-tempered. The weather bugs are challenging More and his followers to a swim-off in Lake Placid in February to see who has the guts to swim in the freezing waters. Then maybe they will remember the word “cold!”

Auld Lang Syne

Since I was a little girl in the forties, I have wondered what this song meant.  My parents sang it often, not just on New Year’s Eve. I thought it was a German song, because they were both German, but I just found out it is Scottish.

Sir Robert Ayton (1590 – 1638) is credited for writing the words, which were later copied by Robert Burns in a Scots poem. This is the way the song now translates:

 

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

And never thought upon,

The flames of love extinguished,

And freely past and gone?

 

Is thy kind heart now grown so cold,

In that loving breast of thine,

That thou canst never once reflect

On old-long-syne?

 

This precious old song always brings tears to my eyes, because it refers to people we have loved in the past and perhaps are not with us anymore.

One of the lines my parents sang was “I’ll take a cup of kindness yet, to the days of auld lang syne.”

Mother told me ‘auld land syne’ meant remember your old friends, and that has been confirmed on the Internet to mean ‘the good old days’. I miss you Mom.

Credit to http://www.journalnow.com

Give Gifts to your Alters

We often talk about feeling like a kid at Christmas, but few of us are blessed to be able to become one when we want to. People with multiple personalities usually have a few alters who are still children. When they were abused they hid and are still available for fun and games in the right situations. Unfortunately, they can’t let their inner children come out in front of normal adults because the adults think they’re crazy. Imagine that!

I have several children inside me who love Christmas. Around the holidays I start to see ads for wonderful toys and these inner children want them. I cut out a few pictures of the things my little girls want. One personality, New Nancy, wants a Barbie Malibu Dream House.

Doll House

I also have an alter named Allen, a nine-year-old boy. He likes to play Indian so perhaps I could find a headdress for him. He also likes guns, airplanes and magic.

I think the best present to give a child alter is Play-Doh. This toy is inexpensive and can be used in most games as anything from play food to small sculpted objects.

Play-Doh

If you have an alter who is still a child, try buying them an inexpensive toy this Christmas. I bet they’ll like it, and all of you will feel better. Please let me know how this plan works for you.

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Excuses

I apologize for not writing my blog for several weeks. I’m sorry! Life has gotten in the way of blogging. My husband has been undergoing chemotherapy since September, dealing with it’s endless side-effects and symptoms. Last week we went to the emergency room twice, each visit taking all day, and the hospital is 50 miles away.

The first time we went because Bob’s leg swelled up and he was in terrible pain. The emergency room doctor diagnosed him with a deep vein thrombosis (blood clot).  He gave Bob a shot and two prescriptions. When we left the hospital we stopped at the drug store and were told they didn’t have enough of the pain medication to fill the doctor’s order. We went home and Bob decided to take the weaker pain pills he already had, until the prescription could be filled. The drug store is 25 miles away from our home, so we can’t just run up and get something.

Within three days it became clear these pills weren’t working so we called the doctor’s office and asked for stronger ones. The nurse I talked to on the phone was supposed to send us a pain prescription but told me to take my husband to the hospital by mistake, so we spent the whole day at the hospital again, for no good reason.

That is the pathetic story of why I didn’t have time to write my blog.  I know: excuses, excuses, excuses! Thank goodness Bob’s chemo will be over in a few weeks!

‘Thank You’ is a Supernatural Phrase

Tomorrow most of us will be sitting down at the Thanksgiving table. How many of us will thank God for the things he has done? And what about the rest of the year? How many of us take time to thank others for the things they do?

 ‘Thank you’ is a supernatural phrase when used sincerely. If it is said with a thankful heart, it can unlock God’s blessings and men’s confidence.

 When you say ‘thank you’ and mean it, you take the focus off yourself and give it to the person you are thanking. You are saying ‘I acknowledge you,’ and ‘I appreciate you.’ It blesses another person, it blesses God, and it blesses you.

 When you say ‘thank you’ to God you are honoring him and he will bless you. The words are like supernatural keys that unlock God’s desire to give you more, and they work the same way with other people. When someone thanks you for something you have done for them, doesn’t it make you feel good? And doesn’t it make you feel like you would be happy to help them again, if the opportunity presents itself?

 Sometimes it is difficult to remember to say ‘thank you’, but it is crucial to a successful life. I first learned it in the seventies when I was married to a heroin addict. My husband stole things from our home to sell for money for his habit. He even went around to our friends and neighbors and told them we had no food and no money and they gave him money. Of course he spent it on heroin. I was truly mortified when they told me.

Finally it came to the point where we were going to lose our home. My Christian girlfriend Marilyn suggested I read “Prison to Praise”, a book by Merlin Carothers. In the book Merlin explains how he decided to thank the Lord for being imprisioned and when he said ‘thank you’ things started changing in his life.

 So I decided to thank God for my drug-addicted husband and losing our home and SUDDENLY there were answers. My husband went into rehab. Our landlord kicked me and my children out, but we found a little cottage to stay in for nothing. Someone even gave us a car! Our church arranged for us to get free dinners until we were able to get on welfare and relocate to a HUD townhouse.

 This was a wonderful lesson in saying ‘thanks’! I have used that lesson many times to get through the thick and thin in life. Sometimes I thank God for the good things and sometimes for the bad. Try it, you’ll like it.

 Can we teach our children to say ‘thank you’, instead of ‘gimme’?

 

Betty Crocker – The Early Years

When I first got married in 1964, I didn’t have a clue about how to be a housewife. I was still in my last semester of college, and all I knew was what a knife and fork looked like and which appliance was the refrigerator. I did have experience at the sink, washing my hands and getting a drink of water, but as a teenager I had studiously avoided Mom’s kitchen. It really was a studied avoidance, because after dinner, I often gave my mother the excuse that I had to study, so I couldn’t help with the dishes. Unfortunately, it was true. I always had so much homework my eyes fell out every night at 10:00.

But I’m getting behind myself. My husband and I managed to eat out for the first few nights. My mom had given me her Betty Crocker Cookbook and after several days of screw-ups, mishaps, and culinary disasters, I decided to make chicken, mashed potatoes and peas. At least I knew about the three food groups: easy, difficult, and impossible.

Betty’s Cookbook  informed me how to bake the chicken, which turned out to be blackened but edible. It was the mashed potatoes that proved impossible. The recipe said to put the potatoes in a pan with ½ inch of water. Betty forgot to mention that the water needed to cover the potatoes and have an extra ½ inch on top of them.

Anyway, I burned the potatoes. I did cook the canned peas in a small saucepan with water and they turned out fine (1964 was during the pre-microwave period in culinary history). I think my husband was still hungry after dinner, but he didn’t say anything. The next night we went to “Big Boy” for hamburgers and fries.

My history of not-so-good dinners finally changed when I had children and was forced to stay home all day and take care of them. I began to care about cooking. Really, I began to care about eating, and I was serving Kraft Macaroni and Cheese every other night, so I needed to study up on making nutritious, edible and tasty dinners.

A neighbor taught me how to make a delicious pot roast. I’m getting hungry just talking about it. I had finally conquered baked chicken and I understood every step of making creamy mashed potatoes. My girlfriend found a great recipe for spaghetti sauce and I learned how to make that. At that point I was able to boil noodles.

“Mom, I learned to make spaghetti sauce from scratch.”

“Really?” Mother was astounded.

“Yes, it’s delicious.”

“Better than Chef Boy-ar-Dee?” Mom looked incredulous.

“Yes, Mom, even better than Chef Boy-ar-dee.” I remember laughing to myself because Mom thought sauce that came in a can would be better than homemade sauce.

So finally, as National Feast Day comes around again, I think back to Betty Crocker and Chef Boy-ar-dee, and although their food was not nutritious the way we insist our food be now, it was fairly good and kept us from going hungry when Mom was busy.

Chef Boy-ar-dee is a real man from Piacenza, Italy whose name was spelled Hector Boiardi. He had a famous restaurant in NYC and was one of the first chefs to package his ingredients together in a box for sale to the public. People ate it up!

Unfortunately, Betty Crocker is a crock. Yes, I’m sorry to burst your bubbles, but Betty isn’t a real person. She was started by the Washburn Crosby Company in Minneapolis in 1921, invented to give a personal touch to thousands of requests they received about baking. Here are some pictures of Betty during her early years.

Betty Crocker

Mental Health Care gets a Shot in the Arm

The Patient Protection and the Affordable Care Act initiated by President Obama has been changed recently to make mental health care more accessible to Americans who need psychiatric treatment. Unfortunately, I had such a hard time understanding the difference between the original plan for mental health care and the present one, that I nearly went “bonkers,” so I have copied much of the info about it from psychcentral.com, a blog by John M. Grohol, psychiatrist.

People will no longer be denied coverage based upon their pre-existing condition, such as ADHD, anxiety, depression or Bipolar Disorder.

Prior to this rule, changing employers or insurance providers often meant having to pretend that a pre-existing psychiatric diagnosis didn’t exist. The new law says that you can’t discriminate against a person because of a pre-existing condition. This means that more people will get the mental health care they need and have it covered by their insurance plan. It also means an insurance plan can’t cancel your coverage for a pre-existing condition, something that was problematic for many in the past.

While the Affordable Care Act includes coverage for the treatment of both mental and substance abuse disorders at equal levels to treatment for physical concerns, limits can and still are placed on such treatments. The limits are more lax than they were perhaps under the older system, but people still do not have access to “unlimited” psychotherapy treatments. Insurance companies still require therapists to obtain authorization for additional treatments after a certain number of sessions has been reached (which varies from insurance company to company).

So, in a nutshell, we will want to make the most of each visit to the shrink of our choice.

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Other Multiples

If you know someone with multiple personalities, please tell them about my blog. I would like to connect with them