Mother’s Choice


Our society seems to have an enormous problem with sex. Our children become sexually active at a very early age, TV shows are overrun with sexual content, and marriages are crumbling because of sexual sin.

One of the things that is most prevalent in our ‘over-sexed’ society is sexual abuse of young girls by their father, their mother’s boyfriend or second husband. The men who do this are surely dysfunctional and have no conscience. How do they conclude that having sex with an underage daughter is okay?

This is one of the most traumatic things that can happen to a family, signaling the downfall of that family unit. The mother feels betrayed by both her daughter and her husband and then must choose between them. The father’s sin has been found out and he is disgraced and ruined. The daughter is drowning in shame and disgust from the pain and agony of abuse.

I’m glad I never had to choose, but I believe that if your daughter tells you she is being molested by your mate, believe her.

This problem is aggravated by our socio-economic system here in the US. Since women bear the children, they most often win custody of the children in a divorce. Then they must somehow fulfill the duties of nurturing, caring for and providing for these children, and hold down a full time job that often pays next to nothing. I think most of these women feel desperate and if they can find a man who will join them in this difficult situation, they will often marry the first man who comes along or sacrifice marriage for a live-in boyfriend or lover.

It is no wonder that many women can’t handle it when her teenage daughter tells her that Mom’s boyfriend is molesting her. If the mother accepts the accusation and kicks the boyfriend out, how will they survive financially? And how can the mother have any self-respect knowing her new husband/boyfriend is not sexually faithful to her and would rather have sex with her underage daughter than herself. It is much easier to deny it, and, unfortunately, many women do exactly that. They scream at the daughter, telling her she’s “a disgusting liar,” and refuse to believe her.

Trusting and believing your daughter is the right choice in this situation. If you accept your daughter’s accusation, and do something about the abuse, you will save your daughter’s self-esteem and the hurt and shame of further sexual abuse.

You will probably lose your mate, but how can you be happy living with him any more, now that you know he has uncontrollable sexual urges, he’s been unfaithful to you and he’s a liar. Who else has he been with?

Your daughter will always be your daughter,  but your husband may someday be your EX.

If you do not believe and help your daughter you will regret it for the rest of your life. Who else can she turn to? She will soon leave home to escape the abuse, and without a place to sleep, or food to eat, she may accept money for sex in order to live. It’s a lose/lose situation for her.

Mother & Daughters

In my lifetime, I’ve been divorced three times, but I still have a wonderful relationship with my daughters. They are both nurturing and helpful to me, and I love them and care deeply for them. Here is picture of me and my daughters, celebrating Easter many years ago.

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