Are You a Multiple or Just Confused?

Having lived the last 66 years with multiple personality disorder gives me a unique perspective on life. There is no such thing as a normal day when you have this disorder. My brain will think of things to do and say much faster than I can do them. I do better if I plan ahead for the next day. Of course just because I plan my day, doesn’t mean I’ll actually do all the things I’ve planned.

There is also the other extreme – doing three or four things at once. I’ll start one project, see another that I can do quickly and begin that, and then before I’ve finished either of those, start a third and fourth. This is definitely “crazy” behavior. If I had Bi-Polar Disorder, it would be a short manic period. The problem is, if I don’t quit and start cleaning up, it becomes very obvious that I’ve “gone over the edge.”

Having a conversation is also challenging, because while I am talking or while the other person is talking, one of my personalities will think of something else and miss the point. If I don’t monitor myself diligently, I’ll blank out and miss what the other person is saying, or I’ll change the subject without blinking an eye. I feel like my head is a gum ball machine. I can put my quarter in, but I’m never sure what’s going to come out.

Have you had problems with confusion? Do you ever feel like you’re on a mental “wild goose chase?”

All of these problems have their root in confusion. Here is what Mr. Webster has to say about “confuse.”

  1. archaic: to bring to ruin
  2. to make embarrassed: ABASH. This word originally meant to shame
  3. to disturb in mind or purpose: THROW OFF (“Interrogators who do their best to frighten and bewilder him,” Aldous Huxley)
  4. to make indistinct: BLUR (stop confusing the issue)
  5. to mix indiscriminately: JUMBLE
  6. to fail to differentiate from an often similar or related other ( ~ money with comfort).

I think all of us have experienced confusion, and hopefully this definition is helpful in understanding how to deal with it. Do you have problems with confusion? Do you have a special way of dealing with it?


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Other Multiples

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