Bad Face Day?

Sometimes I wish I was invisible. It happens when I’m tired, relaxing in my pajamas, and have totally neglected my grooming for a day or two. Have you ever done that? As long as no one sees you (husbands excepted), you’re okay, but what if you suddenly have to go out? What can you do to disguise your bad face day?

Suddenly you realize you’re out of something vital such as milk, coffee, ice cream or donuts, or another item that is necessary to your survival on the planet. Maybe your prescription needs refilled. Maybe your son needs a ride to kick-boxing class, or perhaps you left your driver’s license at the market.

Whatever emergency has occurred, you must leave the house. How can you disguise yourself quickly in case you see someone you know? What if they see you?

I’ve got just the remedy for a BAD FACE DAY, and it can be accomplished in five minutes. I timed it.

  1. Immediately put on a maid’s uniform. This has been known to fool many friends and neighbors, but not all. Don’t forget clunky shoes. You need to look like you’ve been cleaning the kitchen floor all day.
  2. Quickly smear WHITE OUT  all over your face. I recommend having at least a gallon of this cover-up ready for use.
  3. Plop a wig on your head. The wig must be a different color than your hair, so people will think you are someone else.
  4. Put a hat or scarf over the wig.
  5. Put on a pair of sunglasses.

By this time you should be disguised enough to fool your neighbors and friends. Move quickly once you’ve left the house. Get to your car immediately and jump in and shut the door. If you move really fast the neighbors can’t get a good look at you and will think you have hired a maid.

Movie stars have the hardest time being invisible. Every time they walk out the door some photographer is ready and waiting to get a picture of them. I can’t imagine a worse fate. If someone snaps a photo of them, a tabloid editor may decide to run the photo in an article called, “Bad Face Days for the Stars,” or “Who’s the Ugliest?” How do they handle it?

They follow the above instructions and remember to move quickly once they’re outside the house. Any photographs that are taken will probably be blurred and the tabloids can’t use them. Ha ha!

There is one drawback to this plan, so watch out for it. You will forget you look terrible and see yourself in a mirror. Inexperienced women have been known to scream. After going to so much trouble to disguise yourself, try not to be frightened by the maid in the mirror.

 

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Jehovah Jireh Song on youtube

Here’s a wild and crazy rendition of “Jehovah Jireh” from Anish Joseph’s church in India. Don’t worry. It’s in English.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGTY6H6SLOw&feature=share&list=PLFDE9A26FEDCE02C4

One of God’s Names

One of the names of God is Jehovah Jireh.

Here is a description of this name from Wikipedia:

In the original Hebrew language, the name is יְהוָה יִרְאֶה. The first word of the phrase is generally translated in English Bibles as “the LORD” or “GOD” in capital letters. Jehovah is a Christian anglicized vocalization of this name, using the vowels of Adonai.

The early Septuagint translation into Greek gives the meaning as “The LORD hath seen.”

Jewish translations of the verse into English include,

And Abraham called the name of that place Adonai-jireh; as it is said to this day: ‘In the mount where the LORD is seen.’ – Genesis 22:14.

However, some modern translations including the NIV render it “the LORD will provide”, amplifying the literal meaning along the lines of “the LORD will see to it”, and referring to Abraham’s earlier words in verse 22:8, “God himself will provide the lamb”.

Wikipedia is referring to the time when God told Abraham to go to the mountain and sacrifice his son, Issac. When he got there and was ready to kill his son and light  the sacrificial fire, God provided the sacrifice. It was a lamb and Abraham did not have to sacrifice his son. It is a story of great faith.

I like to call God Jehovah Jireh, my provider. It is only one of his names, but it speaks volumes doesn’t it? If you are asking God for something, this name tells us that He is our provider.

Ask and it shall be Given to You

There are so many of us who are in need out there in the blogosphere. People who are financially in need, those who are emotionally in need and many others needing a physical touch from God. The Bible says “ask and it shall be given to you.” Notice God doesn’t say “if you’re good, ask and it shall be given to you.” He just says “ask.”

So many people don’t realize that they can ask God for anything. In his wisdom he knows whether to give it to us or not. Some things are not given to us because it isn’t God’s will for us to have it at that time, or perhaps ever. Other things are not given to us because we never ask for it.

Is there something you really want or need? Ask God for it. Let him surprise you! He likes to astound us with his gifts. If you ask him for a  million dollars you probably won’t get it, but if you ask him for the money to pay your rent, you may receive it. Be open to a miracle.

Some people think they are bothering God when they ask for small favors. I don’t believe this at all. I think God loves it when we ask for things, no matter how small. He is very happy when we think of him and when we ask him for things he is flattered that we believe in him and believe that he is able to do what we ask. We are exercising our faith and he loves that.

Please let me know if you ask God for something and he gives it to you. It will strengthen my faith!

My Theme Song

Crazy people need accompaniment. That little tune that’s playing in the back of your head may be keeping you sane. My favorite is by Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20. Here’s a link to a video of the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDCUnLM6UUc

Here are the words:

I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell, I know right now you can’t tell

But stay awhile and maybe then You’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy
I’m just a little impaired
I know right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me that
I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good
For something
Hold on feeling like I’m heading for a
Break down and I dunno why

I’m not crazy
I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then You’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy
I’m just a little impaired
I know right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be.

Talking to myself in public
And dodging glances on the train
And I know I know that they’ve all been talking about me
I can hear their whisper
And it makes me feel that there must be something wrong with me
After all the hours thinking somehow I’ve lost my mind.

I’ve been talking in my sleep
Soon they’ll come to get me
And they’re taking me away….

Other Multiples

If you know someone with multiple personalities, please tell them about my blog. I would like to connect with them