Are you an Oxy Moron?


Is the expression “just plain crazy” an oxymoron? I am nominating it, because people are either plain or they’re crazy. How can someone be both? If you’re crazy you will automatically do many things that show that you are not plain: such as stopping in the middle of the sidewalk or the mall and turning around quickly and going the other way. Plain people don’t do that. They continue on for a few feet, pretend to stop at a store window and then slowly meander back the way they came. In other words, they are just as insane as the crazy people, but they know how to cover it up.

Perhaps all plain people are crazy people who know how to “act” plain.

How about people who talk to themselves? The plain people only do that when they are at home by themselves, so no one can hear them. Crazy people do it whenever they feel like it. That way they can hash out any type of inner argument from any angle. I’m sure lawyers must do this a lot when they are preparing for a court case. At least I would. Or course, I’m not a lawyer, I’m a crazy person.

Actually I once learned that it is healthy to talk to yourself when you’re alone, because part of your brain is listening and figuring out if what you’re saying is true or not. How many of us believe that one?

Another sign of being crazy is sharing way too much personal information at the first meeting. A plain person waits until the second or third meeting and then blows their new friend away with a whooper. I believe the term is TMI, too much information.

How about the person behind you in the check out line who gets too close? Are they oxy morons or just plain crazy? I have learned several defenses against these people who are  breathing down my neck.

1. I turn slightly and stick my elbow out so they can only get as close as the end of my elbow. Ha!

2. Leaving my groceries where they are on the conveyer belt, I move up to the front of my cart and let them hover around the back. That’ll teach them.

3. If the just plain crazy person still comes up behind me I turn around and glare at them. If I had more courage I’d say something like “Back off lady.” (These boundary breakers are usually women, aren’t they?)

Actually I would never have the nerve to say that to anyone. They might hit me. Glaring is about as violent as I get, oxy morons or not.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Greta H.
    Nov 12, 2012 @ 10:40:58

    My problem is with the just plain crazy drivers who come speeding up behind my car too close, on a 4 lane highway, and stay there. (I know they are speeding because I am already pushing the speed limit.) What do they want me to do – disappear? I wait awhile, and if they don’t get the brilliant idea to pass in the clear left passing lane, I put on my signal and pretend to be getting ready for a left turn, then I move to the left lane so they can speed past in the right lane till they get stuck behind some other poor driver. What is this – passafobia?

    Reply

  2. From The Pews
    Nov 22, 2012 @ 14:05:44

    You know, I never thought of that…Plain Crazy…
    Yup, Oxymoron in my book.

    Btw, know lots of oxyMORONS 😉

    At least you have the courage to glare, I just casually glance back many, many times and HOPE they get it.
    They usually don’t…*sigh*

    Maybe I should start talking to myself when they are too close, and have some type of violent sounding conversation:
    “Should I use a knife?
    Yes, a knife would be good, but make sure it’s dull.
    But that would hurt, wouldn’t it?
    Though I suppose that is the point.”

    Or something along those lines 😉

    Reply

    • Nancy DeLaval Miller
      Nov 22, 2012 @ 17:29:50

      Good idea! However, you better not mention a weapon if your in the airport, or in a public place, or in a store… I think you get my drift. I heard of this incident that occurred in a foreign airport. A woman was not allowed to take her lip balm on the plane and she got upset and was yelling “it’s just lip balm.” They thought she meant “bomb.” She was arrested, but eventually was able to explain herself and make her flight.

      Reply

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