Much Ado About Dancing

I belong to a line dancing group. I travel the twenty miles to town twice a week to practice or perform because I love dancing, I can see my friends and it’s good exercise. The group is free to older people. I’m not really old, but they let me dance with them because I’m so talented. I usually only fall once or twice during practice, and I never lie about my age.

The first odd thing I noticed about the group is that the lines aren’t straight! I am a very organized person and it bothers me when people don’t stand in the right spot. I have to control myself in order not to straighten them.

The second odd thing about the group, which is mostly ladies, is that there are too many dances per brain. Unfortunately that includes my brain too. There must be at least 200 dances in the repertoire, and most of the dances are named according to the song and the name of the dance. That makes two names for every one dance. For example, you have a dance called Wanna Be Elvis, which is danced to the song Elvis Tonight. It can be referred to by either name. This makes Confusion the name of the song.

The cardinal sin of line dancing is going the wrong direction. If you miss a step while we’re all facing front, the audience isn’t likely to notice. But when everyone else is turning to the back of the room and you’re happily dancing to the front, it becomes very obvious who’s doing it wrong.

Most of us are followers. Some of the good dancers have been going to the group for more than five years, and they usually know the dances. Everyone else, including myself, follows the good dancers. The part I love the best is when one of the “good” dancers mis-steps. Half the people in the room follow her, while the other half keep doing what they hope is correct. We start going every which way. It looks like the Mall Food Court at noon, or Grand Central Station at rush hour. Some of the dancers, including me, begin laughing their guts out, practically falling over. Which dance is this? The Confusion Waltz or The Left Foot Lindy? Or my all time favorite, Somebody Lost Me!

For some reason the teacher isn’t laughing. She stops the music. You can see her disappointment as she gazes at her students, shaking her head. Then she takes a deep breath and starts teaching the dance again. You’ve got to hand it to her, she keeps trying.


Scientists Discover Funny Bone

Recently, two scientists from Weir Leary Research Labs in Berkeley, California were found rolling on the floor of their laboratory giggling and laughing out loud. They professed to have found a picture of a funny bone on their x-ray screen, and they could hear it laughing. See below.

The scientists, Morton Jibberish and Phemius Phullhardy received a million dollar grant in 2012, to explore their hypothesis that the funny bone exists in many humans, but is entirely missing in others. When present in the human body, the bone is located between the true ribs and the false ribs, and has been named the mockternal articulation. A third scientist, Alred E. Gone, who worked with Jibberish and Phullhardy for several years, has been admitted for treatment to Shaky Grounds, the local mental hospital.

Other Multiples

If you know someone with multiple personalities, please tell them about my blog. I would like to connect with them