Who will replace the Lunatics?

Last week the US government made a decision to take the word “lunatic” out of all federal laws. I applaud this decision because as a representative of crazy people, it makes me uncomfortable to be called a lunatic. It comes from a very old word that originally referred to someone who is ruled by the phases of the moon. In later years the word meant someone who is wildly foolish, insane or commits an extravagant folly.

I think the lawmakers who came to the decision to leave the word ‘lunatic” out of legally binding law realized that we all are sometimes wildly foolish, we may be insane and we have all been guilty of committing extravagant follies. So that didn’t leave anyone to prosecute in case of wrong doing.

Mr. Webster defines the LUNATIC FRINGE as “members of a political or social movement espousing extreme, eccentric or fanatical views.” Doesn’t that describe most of our politicians and lawmakers today?

The question before the American public is this. What word will we use to replace “lunatic?” I have put forth several suggestions. Let me know which one you prefer.

MAD MEN – Unfortunately the TV series has given us a warped idea of what a mad man is, leaving it almost impossible to distinguish between “normal” and “mad.” The words MAD WOMEN are still applicable, and therefore females can still be considered crazy.

DERANGED – Having one’s brain de-arranged by others or by terrible circumstances.

OUT-TO-LUNCH – This term is not connected with eating at all, but refers to someone whose thinking is not clear. Their thinking is out of touch with reality, as in the sentence “the President is out-to-lunch.”

TURKEY – This is my best choice for a word to replace lunatic. Although some people may get confused or deranged enough to think that this refers to the bird cooked and eaten annually in November, it really refers to a stupid person. The person is stupid, not crazy. If the government takes my suggestion to heart and changes lunatic to turkey in all the laws, there will be a lot of arrests of real bird turkeys and a lot of confusion as to who is stupid and who is smart. Obviously, a smart person would need to make the arrest and incarcerate the turkeys. However, remember the old saying “It takes one to know one!”

This post is making me deranged, so I’m going to stop while I’m still sane, I think.  Who are all those men wearing white coats?


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