Breaking the Sleep Barrier

Do your teenagers sleep too long in the morning? With summer vacation coming up, are you concerned about the number of teenagers who will be  “sleeping in”? Do you get irritable waiting for them to wake up and assume their daily chores? Who am I kidding? Can anyone make a teenager do a chore these days?

Notwithstanding, nor with sitting, I have just the thing to help you rustle those lazy teens out of their beds. There is no need to open the door and attempt to physically remove your offspring from their beds while dodging a shoe or a book being hurled at you from inside. My foolproofish technique can be used without entering the abode of such offspring, be they male or female.

To wake them up, simply follow these simple steps to breaking the sleep barrier.

  1.  Have your own parade! I’d begin by whistling softly and as the tempo becomes more insistent, increase your volume and stomp around the house clapping in rhythm to the music. If you have younger children in the home, definitely encourage them to join in.
  2. March enthusiastically up and down the stairs. Your offspring will yell at you to quiet down, so try to bring your parade down a notch, but make as much noise as possible quieting down, like dropping kitchen utensils, stepping on the cat, or yelling “Good Morning” to the neighbor as though he turned deaf over night.
  3. Then, just when those big whippersnappers (teenagers) are dropping off to sleep once again, hit them with a louder, more intense parade tune that busts their heads open. I highly recommend John Phillip Sousa’s many colorful marches, or my personal favorite “76 Trombones.” Marching and clapping to these tunes is exhilarating and will do the job!
  4. I suggest when you have reached this point, that you remove yourself and younger siblings to a safe place until the teenagers in question are fully awake and in their right minds.
Have a good day!

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